My Birth Story
It feels a little bit surreal to be writing this now, no longer pregnant but now with sweet baby Dallas in my arms. Although the last few weeks of pregnancy truly felt like an eternity, these early days with Dallas are going by extremely fast. But we are soaking up every moment with him and I am absolutely loving being a mom. This is a long anticipated blog, as sharing my birth story has been something I have been looking forward to my entire 10 months of pregnancy. We actually filmed my entire labor/birth, but will be keeping most, if not all, of it private because it is a little more intense than I expected it to be lol.
When I first found out I was pregnant back in July, I had zero knowledge on anything related to pregnancy or birth. So, from then on I dedicated countless hours to researching and educating myself on those subjects so I could be as prepared as possible for the journey ahead. For my labor and delivery, I wanted to go into it with confidence knowing that I was making the best informed decisions for myself and my child. As time went on and I started to gain more knowledge and understanding, I began to feel empowered as a woman AND as a new soon to be mama. I had decided to keep my birth plan private until after birth because I wanted all of it to come straight from my heart without anyone else’s opinion swaying me. After everything I had learned during those 10 months of pregnancy, I had a strong pull towards doing an unmedicated birth. My mom also had unmedicated births with 3 out of the 4 children, and I had always been super inspired by her story, so that was a factor in my decision as well.
Before I get too far into my experience, I want to stop and remind you that ALL births are beautiful, and every single woman that goes through child delivery is absolutely amazing, no matter what route they take. This is simply MY story and what I wanted for me and my family. I believe there is power in documenting your birth story, whether in private or sharing publicly, for so many reasons. BUT! Without further ado… let’s dive right into my birth story :)
My due date was 3/26/2023 and my entire pregnancy I could have SWORN I would go into labor early but nope! Little Dallas boy was extra comfy in there. At my 41 week appointment (I was 41 weeks and 1 day) I was told that the hospital would really prefer me to not go past 42 weeks. While I had told myself since day one that I would remain fluid with my birth plan if something did arise, I couldn’t help but be upset that they had me schedule an induction. So that is why on the day of my 41 weeks appointment, when offered a membrane sweep, I accepted. I wanted as minimal inventions as possible, and this was essentially my first one. If you don’t know what a membrane sweep is, it is VERY uncomfy but not unbearable. Just google it and you will see exactly what it is. During this procedure, the midwife also told me I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. She was shocked how far down his head was and that my hips were nice and wide and ready to rock. She said the only thing holding me up from having this baby right now was that my cervix needed to thin out a bit.
Once the sweep was over, it was only an hour later when my contractions started to really pick up. They felt like the strongest period cramps of my life, but not to the point where I couldn’t hold a conversation. I kept myself distracted all day because with our house still getting finished, there were people in and out all day long, which made me feel like I didn’t have a private moment to really focus on the contractions. I started to time them and they were a little all over the place, but still close together (about 5 minutes). I had Prodromal Labor the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy (which basically feels like the start of labor but it never progresses and only lasts a few hours) so I thought for sure this was just another episode. That night, our neighbors stopped by and as we were chatting, I felt a trickle down the back of my leg and thought my water had broken. Once they left I told Steve, called my midwife, and they told me to come on in. I asked if I could labor at home for a while and they said they don’t want to wait longer than 24 hours once my water has broken, so they ended up giving me 12 hours to be at home. I went to bed, woke up, and the contractions sadly went away overnight. I called my midwife that morning at around 7am and she said that was perfectly normal and to come in anyways, and that they would like to start me on Pitocin.
They had been expecting me at the hospital, so once we were there, everything went fairly quick. I got a saline lock (honestly one of the more annoying/uncomfortable things to have in my arm during my labor believe it or not lol), they put the monitor on to see what contractions/Dallas were doing, and we waited for our midwife to get there. While waiting, the nurse checked to see if my water broke and found that it actually had not, which was also a little bit of a let down for me. Once my midwife arrived, we came up with a game plan: get one more membrane sweep that morning to hopefully progress things and then that afternoon she was going to come back and break my water/start the Pitocin.
Once the sweep was done (about 8:30 am), we were given advice from the nurses to start the Lavonne Circuit (which is basically a 90 minute circuit of labor positions you can work through to get things moving). Steve and I spent a lot of time learning together during pregnancy to gain the knowledge we needed to have the best birthing experience that we could - for myself, and for baby Dallas (that is if everything went according to plan). So, he knew exactly what to do the moment the nurses left the room: shut the blinds, turn off the lights, get the floor mattress out, ask for birthing balls, get lavender scents going, get me electrolyte water, get out my pain management tools (stress ball, tens machine, massage ball, etc), and put on my calming playlist. Once everything was in place, we started the circuit. While doing this circuit, Steve and I were talking and I said “I am not going home today. I’m having this baby”. The funniest part is the main reason I said that is because I did not want to get that saline lock put in again (I know it’s random but I hate needles!!). I also wanted to do everything I could to get those contractions going strong on my own so that I wouldn’t need anymore interventions or medication. I was determined to get my body and my mind there.
After doing the circuit for about 30-40 minutes and not feeling my contractions progress, I said “screw this, I know my body and it needs movement”. So we started walking around the room and bouncing on the birthing ball and just 10 minutes later, things started to progress really quickly. I remember feeling that first intense contraction around 10:30 am and thought “woa… that feels different than what I had been feeling these past 6 weeks”. They were much more intense than those “period-like pains” that I had been experiencing.
Just before lunch time, the nurse asked to see how far I was dilated. I asked her not to tell me how far I was, just to tell me if we were moving forward or not because sometimes if you are not progressing as far as you had hoped, it can be discouraging to know the number. Apparently she had held up 5 fingers behind her back for Steve to know that I was 5cm dilated. I am so glad I never had them give me a number the entire birth because I do think it would have been harder to stick to my plan knowing that I had hours and hours to go.
A few minutes later around 12-1pm (which I do not remember but Steve told me), our midwife came in and saw that I was fully in labor. At that point we knew we would not need any more interventions, my body was doing its thing. At 3pm I remember the contractions getting closer and closer and more intense to the point where I was getting SO exhausted and just about to ask for the epidural. The only position that felt comfortable to me during a contraction was being on my hands and knees which was making my body so tired. I was trying to nap in between contractions to give my body some strength to last for more hours, but with them coming every 1-2 minutes, it was nearly impossible. At 3:30pm my mom dropped off Chick-Fil-A for lunch (lol at the fact that I only ate one nugget because I was too busy shaking and “wooing” just trying to get through my contractions). Originally I planned on it only being me and Steve in the room, but having my mom there ended up feeling comforting to me, so she stayed the remainder of my labor/delivery. Her and Steve worked well together to keep me positive that I CAN do this!!! And to not give up.
The rest of the day was quite a blur until about 6-7pm. That was when my favorite nurse of the day walked in (which I didn’t know would be my favorite at the time of course). She really knew exactly the type of birth I wanted and we were able to progress me to the point of pushing. That last hour of labor before pushing was a very tough time. The nurse thought Dallas was maybe sunny side up and that’s why he wasn’t ready to come out, so we did a ton of different (and uncomfortable) positions to try to get him to flip. Side note: when you are in labor, staying comfy in just that one position is all you want to do to help relieve that pain, but I believe by doing that all day and not forcing myself to get into uncomfortable positions, that is why my labor took even longer. To flip baby Dallas, I stood on the floor at the end of the bed and put my entire weight of my upper body on the bottom of the bed (we raised the bed up high for me to be able to do this). I swayed my hips back and forth and Steve used counterpressure on my hips to make room for him to flip. And it worked!! A few minutes later I found myself saying, “oh my gosh I am going to pushhhhh!!!! I can’t stop it!!”.
The nurse checked me one more time to just be sure I was ready to start pushing (I had her check me in the most awkward position but at that point you TRULY do not care what people think). She checked my cervix and said, “it’s time”, and I remember seeing the birthing team calmly bring in all supplies to deliver. At that moment I got another surge of energy, I knew I was about to meet my baby for the first time. I can do this.
To start pushing, we got in about 4 different positions. Up until that point I had no idea what people meant by the fact that your body involuntarily pushes. It was like instead of just feeling that hardcore contraction, it was that plus the guttural pushing noise coming from deep within my stomach and out of my mouth. The sensation was WILD but I still had to be in the zone and fight to work that pushing sensation through my entire body all the way down to keep pushing baby out. After a few different positions, and an hour of pushing, I truly did not know if I could make it one more push. They brought out the “birthing bar” to put on top of the bed and I knew shiz was about to get real lol. I remember leaning on it in a squatting position and that really helped get him to where he needed to be. The next thing you know, I am in the sideline position with Steve behind me holding me and I can feel baby Dallas coming. I requested a mirror at the bottom of the bed which was encouraging during my last two pushes because I was able to see his head!! The second to last push, his head was out. They then told me to push one last time (which was an artificial push from me, not an instinct from my body which I think is what caused me to have a first degree perineal tear).
I then laid back onto Steve and they laid our baby Dallas on my chest. We waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing and when Steve cut it, Dallas started crying his cute little newborn cry. Dallas Cooper Dilk was born April 4th, 2023 at 8:48pm and weighed 7lbs 6oz. That moment was pure bliss…the craziest feeling in the world!!
If you didn’t already know this, you have to deliver your placenta after you deliver your baby. Luckily mine came out asap. And it’s HUGE! Lol it will surprise you. Once the placenta was out they checked if they needed to do any stitching down there (which they did), but all my focus was just on our new baby and he’s all that mattered at that moment. They then helped me get up and walk to the bathroom and explained how to take care of that area postpartum. But wow let me tell you… the whole postpartum thing is something I was not aware of or prepared for, so I plan to share my own experience with you guys in another blog post!
We then laid with him for an hour and stayed up all night in the hospital because we were just so excited and couldn’t keep our eyes off of him! The next day we were discharged from the hospital and got to take our sweet baby home.
Below I have some more random side notes, stories and tips for anyone that is interested…
I made a labor playlist and for some reason I had both calm music and rap music. I tried putting WAP on during one of my contractions and it was NOT the vibe haha. I actually used one of Eri’s (my sister’s fiance) jazz playlists the entireeee day. It only has 2 hours and my labor was 12 hours, so we listened to the same songs 6 times lol!! Dead.
The Tens Machine was a no go. I actually got super frustrated and irritated with it on my back during a contraction and side nope.
Having a stress ball literally changed my life that day lol. I am pretty sure I was biting it towards the end of my labor.
Having my own labor gown was key. I felt so much more at home.
I wish I would have brought more snacks or forced myself to eat a meal before contractions started. Once they started, I felt like I had 30 seconds to chew and swallow before another one started and trust me… you will probably not want/be able to eat during them.
Your support system in that delivery room is key in my opinion. Steve absolutely crushed it and was so knowledgeable/supportive, and my mom really helped me with my breathing because well… she’s had 4 kids lol.
Having my birth plan typed out and handing it to the team every time there was a new shift starting was KEY. Make sure your birthing partner supports you there. I did not know how my laminated birth plan was going to be received and if I was going to look like a crazy person, but as we got further into my labor, my nurses and midwife took it seriously which I appreciated.
God’s timing is so cool because the nurse I had at the end (and hardest) part of my labor happened to become my favorite nurse from the entire day. She was SO helpful with all of the labor positions and really studied up on my birth preferences. We worked so well together as a team and everyone in that room was in-sync.
The KEY to making it without the epidural for me was utilizing Zofran for nausea towards the end and then also Nitric Oxide to help take the edge off during contractions. I tried the Nitric Oxide on its own without the Zofran and it made me want to puke, so after the Zofran kicked in, I was able to use that Nitric Oxide no problem.
Props to anyone who can utilize those labor and delivery affirmation cards. I bought some and am kind of laughing at myself because I was in so much pain that getting those out of my hospital bag and reading them would probably have been last on my list. When you are in that much pain, just getting through it is the only thing you’re thinking of.
I actually used MOST everything in my hospital bag and kind of wish I had more things like another comfy robe and snacks for post delivery.
I truly think the birthing environment matters. Had I made a more conducive environment the day before with the first sweep, I may have been able to get my body into labor without having to do a second one.
After delivery, it’s gonna look a little scary down there. Like VERY very swollen. I didn’t fully look until about 6 days postpartum lol. But you will heal!! Don’t even worry about it. I will make more postpartum blog posts talking about all the things I have learned.
God is so good and we are so grateful to have Dallas here with us. We can’t wait for this next chapter as a family. Love you guys, thanks for reading!
XOXO, TAY
