My Postpartum Experience
Postpartum: a journey that I had absolutely no idea how hard it would be.
Reason being, I always thought after we had the baby it would be rainbows and sunshine - which, don’t get me wrong, I am so lucky to have the strong bond I feel with my baby from the second he was born….there is nothing like the love you feel for your child - BUT!! You don’t typically hear the other side of the journey. I legit thought there was something wrong with me because I simply didn’t know what I was experiencing was actually normal! So here I am sharing my journey in hopes of making you feel just a little more normal for going through some of the things you are or are about to be going through. This blog post is about to get real!
If you read my birth story, let’s pick up where we left off…. The hospital post birth. Dallas was born at 8:46pm and Steve and I just laid there with him for a good hour or so, soaking that moment in. Post birth there is a lot that happens. My placenta delivered quite quickly after Dallas’ arrival - contractions were still a thing but not nearly as intense as labor and they also helped maneuver it down a little bit by fundal massage (pushing on your stomach). Then, my midwife checked to see if I needed any stitches, which I did (first degree perineal tear), so they numbed me and got to work (I didn’t feel a thing so plz don’t even worry about this part! It was the easiest thing to go through out of my entire labor!). Once they were done, they ran vitals on Dallas and while that was happening three nurses came in to clean me up and take me to the bathroom. I was a little out of it and honestly a little scared to stand up, but they were soooo sweet and kept reassuring me and made me feel comfortable in their presence. They got a step stool and helped me slowly (and i mean slowlyyyy) get out of bed. Walking for the first time just a few steps to the bathroom I felt about 99 years old! My stomach felt hollow, which was a WILD sensation from previously carrying a baby inside. My body was tight and sore all over the place from my 12 hour labor and delivery, and my joints/hips felt wobbly from having to move all over the place to get Dallas out. Once we got to the toilet, they 1) see if you can pee yet and 2) tell you how to care of that area over the next few weeks.
All about peeing after birth:
I definitely had to pee post-birth but realized… I couldn’t. Something I didn’t know is you actually have to pee before they can discharge you from the hospital. But if you can’t right away, don’t worry. Your bladder and everything down there just went through BIRTHING A HUMAN so it might take a second to get things working again. I couldn’t pee for two hours and was so scared I was going to have to get a catheter. Had I known to just relax and known that it’s normal for it to take some time, I wouldn’t have been so tense and afraid. One thing that helped was being alone in the bathroom (stage fright is a real thing lol), keep pouring warm water down there with your peri bottle, and sometimes putting peppermint drops in the toilet helps (idk how but it might work for you).
All about caring down there after birth:
Next up the nurses showed me how to make a “padsicle” which is made up of those glorious white hospital underwear, a huge pad, a padsicle (where you crack it in half and it gets cold), 3 witch hazel pads, and then you spray aloe vera cooling spray on it. I personally had all of these amazing recovery items waiting for me in my postpartum caddy when I got home (you can read more about what’s in my PP caddy here), and that is THE thing that I am beyond happy I had prepped before birth. I would say it was the most important thing for after birth that I could have had prepped. But I had no idea how to use any of it, so I am so thankful the nurses taught me all the things before I left the hospital!
They will also have you rotate between Advil and Tylenol postpartum, and have you take a stool softener. The first bowel movement within the next few days is going to be not so fun, but it’s so much easier if you take those stool softeners.
The next few pees, I was required to call a nurse to take me to the bathroom, but soon enough I could prove that I was fine walking alone. Even though I was able to walk, I didn’t necessarily feel 100% fine and still used handrails in case I were to fall or something, but I think because I was experiencing all of this for the first time, it felt a little extra scary to me. PLUS! My body was probably a bit in shock cuz I was soooo exhausted from the big event.
That night, we probably slept 30min total. We were on cloud 9 and just so excited for Dallas to be here. Something to note: there will be a lot of people in and out of your room basically until you leave the hospital. Nurses, doctors, lactation consultant, pediatrician, and not to mention family if you allow them to come see you guys. It is quite exhausting so once you get home be sure to rest up as MUCH as you can. We were required to stay 24 hours, so when we got home at midnight the next night we could not WAIT to show Dallas around (lol he will never remember) and crawl into our bed.
The next morning, I truly felt like I got hit by a train, and that feeling stuck around for about a week for me. Once you look down there in the mirror the day or two after birth, it is truly a sight. As I sit here, 3 weeks postpartum, things are about back to normal looking so I can assure you everything will be alright lol. But if you are not prepared like I was, it can be pretty shocking to see!
Side note: I actually found out I developed an infection down there so I think I would have recovered a LOT sooner than the rate that I am at going right now!
Now for the tougher things I was feeling that first week:
Hard to sit and stand
Feeding was tough for a lot of reasons
Nipples were starting to get cracked and almost bleeding (more on this below)
I def had the baby blues for about 1-2 weeks. The lack of sleep, trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, the pain your body is feeling, the changes, it’s a LOT at once. There were lots of tears but also lots of joy when being around Dallas. I think the lack of sleep and trying to recover really did a number on me mentally, especially that first week.
Being a bit of a perfectionist at times, I felt the need to be the best mom I could be but when you can hardly walk around without being in pain, I felt like a failure already. Now looking back, I wish I would have given myself more grace!
Brain fog.
No motivation for anything but being around Dallas and making sure he was getting enough food.
I am SO extremely active, so not being able to move around like normal to do things like walk Dallas around the house when he was crying, make nutritious meals, help Steve out a little more, and to simply sit up without hurting was getting to me. While I am still feeling a lot of pelvic floor pressure at week 3, I am healing and I now look back and realize that it’s a very short window of feeling like I did and to not get down!
Postpartum advice for new moms:
Schedule a lactation consultant to come to your house a couple days postpartum. You don’t want baby getting into bad feeding habits or your nipples becoming so sore that you can’t go on any longer. I recommend scheduling this before you have the baby!
You will have to go to your pediatrician the morning after you get home. Schedule that before you have baby if possible!
Have your postpartum caddy ready to go in your bathroom with alllll the postpartum supplies!
Have your breastfeeding cart ready to go in your nursery or wherever you plan on feeding the most. Here is what I included on mine.
Have about 3 sweat pant outfits that you can rotate through over the next few days. Tight clothes are a no go, you will want loose loose loose.
Buy these underwear on amazon. Buy 2 packs I would say! Comfiest postpartum underwear by far.
Start listening to postpartum podcasts the day you get home! I wish I listened sooner. They made me feel like I wasn’t crazy for going through what I was going through.
Take time every morning for yourself to take a shower and/or bath (if ok with doc), freshen up.
Week 3, Dallas started to become superrrr fussy. We are JUST NOW realizing he has been way too overstimulated and not getting enough sleep! I think the issue has been we have had LOTS of visitors and we like to keep him awake to make sure he is stimulated. I have this thing in my head where I feel guilty making him go to sleep but boy was I wrong. We have been swaddling him and using the Snoo to help him sleep more throughout the day and he has been a much happier baby recently!! I did not realize until our pediatrician said that newborns need sleep just as much as they need to eat, and how crucial that was for Steve and I to hear that.
Limit visitors if at all possible. The most helpful thing your loved ones can do is dropping meals off at your porch IMO! I have been far too afraid of hurting everyone’s feelings and putting my own recovery - plus Dallas’s sleep time - on the back burner. Now I know for baby number two, to just wait until we are ready! I know the people in your life love you and want to help, but we can’t be our best selves if we are pouring from an empty cup.
Don’t forget to eat. Your body needs the cals to recover AND if I didn’t eat enough I would notice my milk supply dropping a little. Some people disagree with the correlation but that is what I’ve observed.
Luckily, I have the most supportive husband in the world and he helps with Dallas SO much. I am feeding duty, and Steve is swaddle/diaper duty. PLUS he helps with house, the dogs, work, and so much more. That first week or two postpartum would have been a lotttttt harder without his support. But let me tell you, to all the single moms or moms that don’t get that support, I have so much respect and love for you. You are the strongest people in the world!!!
Overall, my goal is to always share with you my candid thoughts on the highs and lows of whatever chapter I am going through. I definitely was called to share this postpartum experience with you, especially given that I didn’t even know that I was not the only one feeling how I was feeling. I hope having a better idea of what to expect can put you at ease a bit and be a reminder that you are not alone as you go through your own postpartum journey. It is a lot to go through, mentally and physically, but I promise you it is also the most rewarding and beautiful journey ever. None of the bad will ever outshine all of the good that will come from your new baby and the happiness you will feel watching them grow.
Love you guys, have a beautiful week!
XOXO, TAY
